I want to start by defining what I believe the origin of all love is, because I truly believe that all love is the same love, the only thing changes is intent and context.
They are only two things but they make all the world of difference in life.
So, I’m talking about true love which is the love of God The Father. The Love of God is not an emotion (more on that another time), or anything like that.
However, there is the emotion of being “in love” but being in love is not the same thing as true love.
True love is the culminating character of seven specific, observable character traits developed within yourself, and expressed towards others.
You can also use this to see if someone is truly showing love and goodwill towards you by looking for these traits.
Love And The Three Planes Of Existence
It’s important to note that all of this is predicated on the fact that we as humans exist on the three planes of existence. Namely:
I won’t be discussing these planes in this post, but will in a future post.
The 7 Evidences of True Love
Self-control means not allowing yourself, because it’s all about you, you have responsibility for your own life.
So, it’s about not allowing yourself to do anything that’s gonna delay, damage or be an obstacle for that progress, for that goal that your looking to accomplish.
The other side of that is discipline, doing what needs to be done, when it needs to be done, to progress, to grow, to become a better you and increase, when it needs to be done, even if you don’t want to do it, even if you don’t feel like it.
As an example to give it some context, I like to use romantic relationships because it’s easier to understand.
So discipline means you do things for the other person, you express affection in words through messages, audios, gestures, gifts and all these things.
But you also have self-control when you are in a disagreement, you don’t blow up, you control yourself.
You want to make sure that you have disciplined thoughts, actions, behaviors and words. While you also want to have self control over them as well.
Now this is huge! Being useful is the second evidence of true love.
There are many ways to manifest being useful. In something as simple as a smile or kind word. To something like dishes, babysitting or even investing in a business idea.
Remember, context and intent relative to receiver determines perceived exchange on value.
I’m not telling you to start giving everybody money. I believe in having just a dozen or so friends, and of them, really a handful of intimate friends.
I’m friendly and welcome all positive relationships and acquaintances. But my truly close friends are just a few.
You want to be useful in the lives of people and when I talk about this in the general, the highest general term, I’m talking about the well-being, the progress, development, prosperity and the collective health of mankind and earth in general.
That’s the widest spectrum and application of all that I’m saying. And, it comes all the way down to romantic relationships. business relationships, friends, art, creative expression all of it. It’s all encompassing.
You know the world beats people up, they have to know that they can come to you and they are gonna be encouraged. You’re gonna be able to uplift them.
You know let them know that they can do it that…
“it’s an obstacle but you know you can keep going and push through it”.
You want to be supportive of their projects or even if you’re not supportive of their projects. At least be supportive of them and let them know that it’s never them that you don’t approve of.
You always want to be supportive of them as an individual
In words, thoughts and in actions, it means protecting the namesake, protecting the reputation of others, of mankind, of people your in relationship with.
Means you persevere against, through, over or around the obstacles that come along the way. You find a way, you don’t stop you pivot, you make an adjustment, you do whatever it takes you just don’t stop! At all!!
If you really want the goal, if you’ve really taken the time to get clear on the vision you truly want, you’ll make adjustments and keep pushing on.
This applies again to everything but I like to use specifically this example because it’s really impactful and easy to understand.
Let’s say for an example your in a relationship with someone and one of you has an affair.
My Personal Belief About Affairs
I personally believe both parties, in general, have part responsibility for the affair, but not always. It’s very rarely just out of lust.
My Personal Experience With Infidelity
I have an ex-girlfriend from when I was around 21 or 22. We we’re together for a few months but I really loved the girl (because I had clarity on what was a compliment for me and for whom I am a compliment) and she fit the description.
My Part of the Infidelity
I started hanging out more with my cousins and neglecting her.
Her Part of the Infidelity
She didn’t express that need to me.
Both Parties Have Part Responsibility
About a month after my change in behavior, we broke up. About a month after that, I went back to her because I really loved the girl and I was willing to recognize my faults and make the necessary changes.
But she was like, “Actually, I had an affair”.
I wasn’t happy and I had to take a moment, obviously, to breathe and maintain that self control, which is so important but then I was like..
“I really love you. Let’s forgive each other and continue this relationship if you want to”.
But she did not want to. That’s okay. True love is mature and respects the free will of others. So that was her decision, I continued my life, she continued hers.
So unconditional, you always gotta be there for others. Be supportive of them.
True Love is Not Abusive
But, if they’re consistently betraying you, that’s something else, that’s not love.
“If I’m not doing anything ill. I should not have anything to hide.”
Privacy, however, is a different matter.
Transparency is clear communication and letting people be clear with you. Because if your communication is clear and your intent is clear then all interactions should be clear and that’s the idea.
What is True Love?
Next time someone asks you what is real love or what is true love? You can easily say,
“True Love is SUELPUT. Self control. Usefulness. Emotional Support. Loyalty. Perseverance. Unconditionality. Transparency. Seven character traits developed in oneself and exhibited towards others”.MrHenryV